


Oh-ho I’m Sorry Did I Make You Anxious?

by 1117



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Amnesia, Flashbacks, HAHAHA RIP me, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Questioning, Supernatural Elements, Superpowers, Team Dynamics, They just love each other so much u don’t even know, actual d wording from sleep deprivation rn, basically it's Seonghwa putting everything back tgt, just the usual stuff nothing special xd, other ships implied - Freeform, seonghwa went thru the most here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1117/pseuds/1117
Summary: After the apocalypse, everyone seems to forget the man who had risked his own life to save the Earth.Even the savior himself has forgotten who he once was.But his lover hasn’t.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	1. Hush, Hush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha here’s another episode of Suri who never focuses on her long on-going au and busy as hell but still unable to resist random popped up prompt ideas for her one-shots 😔
> 
> I promise I'm not dipping the current ongoing au I'm just not in the mood and have no motivation to write it. I will post when I'm ready. :,)
> 
> Supernatural Powers:
> 
> HJ - Anti-Supernatural Elements + (Elements Manipulation)  
> SH - Prophecy+Psychometry  
> YH - Telekinesis  
> YS - Telepathy  
> S - Electricity Manipulation  
> MG - Gravity Manipulation  
> WY - Teleportation  
> JH - Super-strength

"Wait- Wait, Hongjoong, just let me explain-"

"Stop following me," Hongjoong harshly shoved the platinum lavender hair's hand away with a huff, ignoring the stares of those strangers by the side of the curb—who seemingly looked for some sudden drama out of the blue.

Seonghwa dismissed the intense feeling of his ability to be sucking out by Hongjoong's touch, trying to pull the shorter man back by every force of his will. Though it felt strange. Much more surprising that he couldn't feel a single atom of mana on Hongjoong's body. He remembered the man’s power, yet all he felt now was an empty cover.

"But you have to listen to me!"

It seemed like an endless confession that would lead to nowhere satisfying, and as hopeless as he had been, Seonghwa honestly did not want to give up. Before him, after all these times, was the Kim Hongjoong that he had always trusted, always cared, and always longing for. 

But why didn't he remember him?

Hongjoong heaved a heavy sigh, staring at the man in front of him with a click of his tongue. "Listen, I don't know why are you keep bugging me, I don't know who you are, and you are making me late for work. I don't know how the hell that you know my name, but if one moment you are disturbing me again, I'm calling the police. "The brown-haired man stared with such irritation, like a kid wanting to throw his broken toy at any minute, and shuffled through Seonghwa's shoulder to push forward. 

He tried not to notice the flicker of hurt flashing on the latter's eyes or the hesitation when he raised his hand as if wanting to touch him.

But the stranger didn't.

And the biggest mystery, yet, was that Hongjoong had no idea who this man was, but it all felt familiar for some reasons. 

He's sure this was their first encounter. Yet, he just couldn't rid the sentiment off, feeling unshakeable. It was something questionable, though, lingering punching holes over his chest.

But he had never seen this man before.

It started like this.

People who were born with a pleasant amount of mana inside their blood would likely be blessed with a unique ability. 

Every person who was given such a gift possessed a different power, and sometimes, if they were relatives, the chance of obtaining familiar abilities were likely elevated.

But some people were born with nothing to claim. And most of them were called the originals.

There was a story.

The Earth was foreseen to be annihilated by the verge of the second decade in the twenty-first century. It was announced that a massive comet appearing from the side of Pluto's course would crash into the Earth's surface and cracked the very core of the planet, shoving it away from the Solar System.

A man who possessed the most potent power had used all essence of mana into his body to revolve the Earth back to its orbit. And after the mast amount of energy used, he vanished. 

Yet, no one seemed to remember him anymore, as if he had evaporated from the Earth. 

After the incident resulted, the majority of humanity woken up and arose through emergency wards that were built for such unexpected scenarios. 

And the administration had announced for extra assists from superpower individuals. A request for more of them to join the new Security Agency; to divide branches and help stabilize the international protection system after the destruction of first-line groups from the past Security Agency.

The man was being forgotten by the world as the government rebuilt their positions.

No one seemed to recall.

No one but one person.

Seonghwa stared blankly at the milk tea in front of him, hand cradling the straw between the ices in boredom. 

"If you keep spinning it, you going to have a stomachache drinking it after."Yeosang said in between his sips of americano, swallowing down the liquid with anticipation from the man before him, waiting for an explanation."What are you thinking about?"

Seonghwa kept his eyes on the tip of the straw, seeming to lost in thought for some minutes, but he heard the question.

"Tell me, Yeosang. You don't remember him?"

"Who?" Yeosang sipped on his drink again, a frown on his brows this time confused by the older's words. 

"Hongjoong. Kim Hongjoong. Can't you recall who he is?" Yeosang furrowed his brows further.

"I've never heard that name before. First time. Actually, you have mentioned him sometimes. But I don’t know him; it seems like you do, though." 

Seonghwa pinched his nose in frustration, "ugh. You know what? Read my mind; maybe you will figure it out."

Yeosang squinted his eyes hesitantly as he slowly raised his palm toward Seonghwa's forehead. "You have been strange these days, hyung. Ever since you got back from the ward-" The moment Yeosang's hand made contact with the latter's head, a zap of electricity shocked through his fingers, and he withdrawed his arm with a hiss.

"What the fuck!"

Seonghwa widened his eyes at the scenario; his mouth opened in shock. "What-"

Yeosang looked at him skeptically," What do you mean ' _what_ '? It's your skin, hyung. What did _you_ do?"

"Me?" Seonghwa stuttered, "I didn't do anything?"

"Then why did you shock me?"

"I don't know?! Try again; maybe it's coming from the friction of the electrons you made while touching the table or something."

Yeosang snorted at him, "that sounds like bullshit. The table is made out of wood, but let me do it again." 

Still, the moment his hand touched Seonghwa's forehead again, the shock arrived right on point. Full force.

"Fuck! That hurts!" Yeosang yelped while blowing on his hand, touching his cup of iced americano to reduce the burning as quickly as possible.

"What is going on?" Seonghwa couldn't believe what just happened; in exchange, he reached out to his friend, and the gray hoodie man flinched back in an instant. "Wait, hyung. What are you doing?"

"Reading you, of course." He responded naturally, ignoring the frightful atmosphere that occurred merely a minute ago. 

"But I got shocked by you twi-" Yeosang tried to dodge the man's hand. But damn it, the extended arms privilege. Knowing nothing can hold the man who only now inches away from him, Yeosang left out a tiny whimper before Seonghwa reached to the soft skin of his cheek.

No shock happened this time.

"Huh?" Yeosang opened his eyes confusingly in a blur, staring at the older who gave out the same expression.

"I can read you just fine." Seonghwa had looked down at his hand, experimenting with it like he just witnessed something out of this world, and tilted his head. Then he glanced up at Yeosang, a puzzled facial with a snort. "Are you for real dipping me for Jongho in five seconds?"

Yeosang furrowed his brows in question before the time clicked, and his phone flashed.

It was from Jongho.

He was supposed to have a movie date with Jongho in less than fifteen minutes.

The mind-reader peered between his hyung and the phone in conflict, and Seonghwa decided to end his suffering before any of them evacuated from his lips. 

"Go, it's not like I have time to third-wheeling your little lovebirds." He sighed, before shooing him off, "Still need to finish this week report for Eden-hyung anyways."

Yeosang looked at him with one last embarrassed and sorry expression; then, he pushed himself out of the table they were sitting at and heads out of the diner.

After some moment of stillness, Seonghwa proceeded to pull out his phone, flashing back to the preview occurrence. Everything felt off. And he couldn't pinpoint where to see it.

Kim Hongjoong. Their squad leader from the KQ branches, the head organization for the Security Agency. Their one and only leader, perhaps best. Someone everyone always looked up, with the most potential power in possession. The ability to manipulate every element existed in this universe. From little section of atoms to even the Sun itself. Someone who he put close into his heart, and was, still is, and maybe will never shove out from his comfort zone. 

His partner in crime. His childhood best friend.

His lover.

Hongjoong was assertive, confident, and reliable. That was probably why the administration had suggested him to be their frontline in the apocalypse that happened not fully five months ago. 

But every moment as the prophet woke up, the guilt deep inside him always managed to eat him up alive, swallowed him, and choked him down to the depressing pool of devastation. 

”It will be alright.” Hongjoong had said, with a kiss on his lips, before he flew up in the air. 

”It will end before you know it.” He said

”I will be back.” He said.

Seonghwa had mocked at the words after many times, feeling sorrow with the instant flashbacks from his painful memory. Because despite being a prophet, Seonghwa, for some reason, did not realize it was the last time he would hear from his partner. And the emotional broke him, regardless of his possession in reading both the future _and_ the past. The figure of Hongjoong was bright, and once he had concentrated his power enough to manipulate the gravitational force—The ability that is under Mingi’s possession. Until the Earth was being recovered, under the last bit of vision Seonghwa’s eyes could oversee, Hongjoong disappeared into thin air and gone like the dried leaves of fall.

After the event, everyone began to wake up inside the white ward of the emergency building beneath the ground. Seonghwa has had a hard time cooping up with words that others have told him. Three months after he came around from his hibernation was the time where other Ateez members have started visiting him. But when he asked about Hongjoong, they have looked at him, and questioned.

”Hongjoong? Who is that?” Jongho once questioned while he lifted the big sofa in their apartment living room.

And many times, everyone surrounded him almost seemed like they neglected the existence of their former leader; Seonghwa then began to question if everything about if Hongjoong was just an imaginary friend that he dreamt from the top of his head. Some sort of hallucination and the undergoing pending stress. San liked to tell him that sometimes.

But an imaginary lover? The prophet laughed to himself because all of those encounters and the intimate moments seemed far too real to be considered fraud.

Seonghwa sat silently at the diner table, sipping on the somewhat ice-melted milk tea as he scrolled through his phone, checking back at his unread Kakaotalk messages. Until a tense feeling pushing somewhere on the center of his throat that he looked up confusingly, around and under. He looked around again, but this time is out of the window. And he widened his eyes.

Kim Hongjoong, all in his glory, was quickly pacing on the street with a rushing expression on his face. The last time Seonghwa recalled in his rusty memory, the latter has had his hair in a bright bleached blonde, where the little tip of the black root would be showing out. Seonghwa would complain about how annoying it looked, only for the man to dismiss it with a laugh and said he would retouch the tip once he's free.

It was a platinum brown this time, as he watches the quick-paced figure running from the other side of the curb, rushing straight toward the library two buildings away. Seonghwa had stood up, running out of the diner in wish to catch up with the man, but what painted out the moment he called him and hopes for a talk, Hongjoong had stared at him in full-force rejection.

Like he didn't really know who Seonghwa was, and it makes something hurtful grew at the bottom of his heart.

Because he responded to Seonghwa when he called his name, but he didn't react to any familiarity when Seonghwa has already stood right in front of him.

At this point, he wondered if he himself had actually gone insane.

The hour after, when Seonghwa’s brain decided not to betray him and misled his logical function as he followed the man into the library, he finally learned that this was the man’s workplace. The prophet has looked with a laugh of humor. Hongjoong wasn’t too fond of books, but more to other artistic subjects. Or, at least, that was what the Hongjoong he once knew.

He had almost managed to convince himself that the man was some sort of imagination, and he should have given up and moved on. But the skin and bone Kim Hongjoong is standing within feet between him, and his heart pondered, knowing that everything wasn’t a dream. And he still had the hope to recover them.

But the biggest plot twist, however, was that only Seonghwa remembered everything. He assumed that it was because of his ability to read the past and future, where his memory didn't fade as long as he found items that once connected everyone. But for all of his friends. And even the leader himself, had no collection of how Ateez once was, the idea uncomfortably drilling a hole inside his chest.

He wanted it to return, all of it. Every single moment that they all have shared together as a team. And as a family.

Especially the memory between the both of them.

Even such behavior was considered as selfish, in between a relationship with the one who he loved dearly, there was no choice to pick in the end; someone between them just have to be selfish, right?

Seonghwa waited until Hongjoong was done with his shift, with the fact that the Security Agency was currently in hiatus and no crime was happening (at least for today), the prophet was glad to have more spare time working on things he needed. His current priority, first and foremost, Hongjoong.

He had pushed the man into a nearby corner the moment Hongjoong walked past the stairs. And the shorter man left out a frightened yelp.

”Ha-”

Here it comes...the feeling as his energy was being sucked away as he pulled on Hongjoong’s hand, and he furrowed his brows in confusion. But before he got lost too far and lost the only chance to talk, Seonghwa composed himself. Hongjoong beaten him to it, however.

”You! It's you again.” He had looked at Seonghwa with those strange eyes and a bothered flickering in between his irises caused a flip in the prophet. Because Hongjoong had never looked at him like that, his Hongjoong had never looked at him like that.

”W-what do you want from me?”

Besides the ominous feeling between their touch, Seonghwa realized he couldn't read Hongjoong at all. As if there is an invisible barrier that existed around Hongjoong held back, the ability and forces from all things revolved. But he was quick enough to notice the firm grip that Hongjoong put on his phone as he hid it from behind his back.

Despite losing his memory, he was still as fierce as ever. He tried to call the police. 

Seonghwa smiled in a reassurance posture as if to remind the man before him that he meant no harm, while unprepared, he grasped the phone from the brown-haired man’s grasp. Hongjoong had looked up in alert, wanting to get it back, but Seonghwa's height beat him to it. Damn it, the long legs privilege.

Seonghwa had wanted to start the conversation as smoothly as he could, not in the situation where Hongjoong would immediately run the moment there was space for him to leave from the small corner. 

And Seonghwa, as a kind human being as he always was, was absolutely terrible with human interaction. And absolutely worse when it came to starting a conversation.

”I-uh...I want to...I mean...”

”You what?” Hongjoong, ferocious he had always been, wanting to beat him out of the bush.

”I mean, this morning, when I was talking about you used to be in our group-” Seonghwa, who initially expected to start the interaction, suddenly couldn't make clear of words for his explanation, where he had to depend wholly on staring at every damn thing that appeared in his view, anything but Hongjoong's eyes. And he knew that interaction involved with looking straight at the listener, yet the shoes under their feet looked even more tempted to observe.

Or even the white self-decored bag that Hongjoong was holding (he still has the same hobby as ever), the ripped holes from Seonghwa's jeans. Or even the couple rings that both of them have on the fourth fingers.

Wait-

Seonghwa quickly clasped on Hongjoong’s hand, earning a surprised gasp from the latter.

”You- You still have the ring.” Seonghwa held tight on the man’s hand, with something so bright in eyes that Hongjoong could determine as hope. He nervously gulped and snatches his hand back shyly.

”Wh-what are you doing? This is my ring. I bought it for myself.”

Seonghwa had looked bewildered, but instead of feeling discouraged and embarrassing at Hongjoong’s words, he shook his head in denial. ”No, I’m sure this is our couple rings; I was the one who asked for the designs.” Before he showed his hand and pulled out the ring from his finger, showing the nicely written in cursive inside the silver piece. The words ”Kim Hongjoong” brightly sparkled under the curve. 

Hongjoong had looked at the ring in shock, then, starting up at Seonghwa as if he just witnessed the rebirth of dinosaurs. With a small whisper of _unbelievable_. He glanced up at the taller man again.

”wha...what was...what did you say your name was again?”

”Seonghwa?” It sounded almost like a question with Hongjoong’s expression throws him off overwhelmingly that he even wondered if the other was alright. ”My name is Park Seonghwa.”

Hongjoong gasped. ”Oh my God?” With his hand closes over his mouth, as if he couldn't believe in his eyes, and Seonghwa seemed surprised with the other’s reaction.

”Hongjoong...are you...” he hesitated over the Words, ”Do you remember me now? It’s me, Seonghwa. You are Kim Hongjoong, the leader of Ateez, one of the heads in the Security Agency, your parents’ proudest son, and the man who helped to prevent the last wave of the Apocalypse before you disappeared.”

Hongjoong now looked at him again, even lost than before as every words uttered. ”I’m a what now?!” Then he stared to chuckle, almost as he lost himself. Like a madman. “There is no way.” He whispers, feeling unconvinced, “They kicked me out the moment I w...” before he watched Seonghwa with a careful expression, as if he had accidentally confessed a secret, feeling too out of the blue for his own good. He shook his head in deny.

”I’m an ordinary,” he said, then swings his hand in the air as if wanting to prove something. ”Look, no superpower, no webs shooting from my buttocks, no twenty-four toes, no moving objects like Doraemon with his magic pocket, no tears are crying out from my eyes that could fill in the Ganges. I am an original. You must have mistaken me with someone else.” And he snatched his phone back in a quick movement, ignoring the close distance between them that he could almost feel Seonghwa’s breathe on his face. In the end, he shoved his phone back into his bag, neglecting the almost-likely-to-protest face from the man beyond him.

”If you are blocking my way just to talk nonsense to me, then I suggest moving away. Maybe instead of calling the police, I will kick your balls as self-defense.” Seonghwa stared at the latter in shock and terrified, before he moved out for an empty way, and Hongjoong watched at him one last time. The word _weirdo_ murmurs through the tip of his lips.

And Seonghwa that night, until the moment he hit his bed, still couldn't figure out if Hongjoong remembered him or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the way I daily vote for BTS, Monsta X, and ATEEZ on Mama 2020 but Monsta X literally got nowhere near top 5 in ANY category I'm actually sobbing they are so underrated just why 😭


	2. Imma Take You Down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wait wait lmaooo I thought this gonna be a quick 2 chapters one-shot but then i looked at the plot and was like “aight this might longer than expected, oh dear. haha” so i might have to finished everything off in chap 3 😭🔫
> 
> warning tho!!!: discrimination in this chapter!! so read with caution, i rlly tried to subtle it down

When Hongjoong woke up, it was a strange experience.

People talked, pacing around, multitasking on many cardboard clips, and the crowded metal piece carts with bottles of antiseptic, bandaids, and medical supplies rolling down on the harsh white tiles.

He recalled strange faces, observed him, put down unreadable words inside those files of paper, and constantly moved him around.

In somewhere between where Hongjoong could understand the reason for his location changes, he woke up in a group that only specialized in superpower individuals. And he was right in the center of the ward.

There were some nurses that have too little entertainment to enjoy their lives and those that couldn't keep their mouths sealed for more than five minutes a day. They have mocked him, stared at him with stink eyes. And some purposely didn't treat the burns on his arms carefully, causing the man to pull out constantly uncomfortable hisses as he tried to gather himself back together. 

They called him an original.

They wondered how he got himself into such a _special_ place with little to none mana inside his blood.

Hongjoong has been confused at the words, had lost himself somewhere in between, and in the end, he couldn't understand what everyone was talking about.

For a fact, he didn't even remember his own name the moment he woke up if it wasn't for the hospital name tag on his wrist. But cold shoulders have been shoving him around for a tortured month, and he tried to deal with all this unfair harshness in such a strange place, with many strange people. It had come to the point where the medical and science experimenting organization had requested the district administration to send him away from the building. Because Hongjoong might or might not have broken the mana evaluation machine in his process of physical checking. The doctors who were there have frightened the moment the young man set his palm into the scanning machine. As an unseeable force of power rushing from the ground, before electricity absorbed into Hongjoong's skin, and all hell broke loose as the giant scanning machine crashed down into literal parts.

What even more strange was...

There was no data about him, no government record, no written historical background. Nothing. As if he has never existed. As if he had vanished and was no longer being recognized as someone who was still loitering on the Earth.

As if he was a ghost.

But Hongjoong thought the idea was nonsense, just by considering the flesh, skin, and bone that he was currently possessed. 

One day, the man overheard when two of the head nurses discussed the exceptional case of a man who had no record in the system. It was about him, he knew. Yet words that came from such trustable, though cold-hearted souls, remind him once again if he ever has known who he truly was, Hongjoong desperately wanted to know the truth, by then, at least he wouldn't be so lost and abandoned in this world; where he knew little to nobody here.

The nurses have talked about those people whose records were never written down for secrecy safety. These supernatural beings worked for the government under the Security Agency. They were the ones where neither existed background would be entered down for the sake of their lives. And for the sake of their family. And Hongjoong had listened to every word, feeling the connection slowly forming a bond for him, yet, it was still so blurry and had made no total sense.

Because Hongjoong had no mana.

So, regardless of his location, the day he woke up, it was impossible to conclude that Hongjoong was once part of the people who have the ability to control their mana. And as the nurse said, he must have been brought in the ward by mistake.

The doctors on the checking day had reasoned that the lack of Hongjoong's mana had somehow managed to destroy the machine, plainly because he had no power in him that the poor computer had failed to read his power and cracked down in erroneousness. And Hongjoong had learned to cope with himself that he was an original, someone who existed, yet being so unwanted by their own people, even if between him and those who believed to be more almighty. All they have to show off was their power. And he had his own will to survive, anyhow.

Hongjoong believed that his memory would return someday and entrusted that rather than pushing himself for it, he should care for what mattered first, a place to live and a source of income to support himself. So, the first thing he did was look for a job that didn't require any identification form.

Sometimes after when he finally got a job at a library through pure luck, that he had slept through nights of opened sauna houses, and saved enough for himself to rent the small side one-room apartment, Hongjoong thought then that he could settle down like this, living his life contently until he got to find the missing holes in his forsaken memory again. Hongjoong had woke up one month after the apocalypse, perhaps was one of the patients (mostly superheroes) who awakened the earliest, so he did go through a bunch of commotion in the process, and tried his best to survive for the rest of the lonely days.

In the third month, though.

He started having weird dreams.

The young man wasn't sure if they were dreams, or flashbacks, or even just uncorrelated images that his brain just made up, yet, in those days where he woke up, the most extreme thing he always noticed were tears straining on his puffy eyes where emotions were too overwhelming for him to coop up. As if something had eaten him up, and he had lost a very significant part of himself. But he never got to remember any of those given dreams until they faded away again, just like warm water evaporated from the hot spring on a summer day. And he was back to square one. He realized something, though. Every moment he woke up, Hongjoong always held on to the silver ring laying still on his finger. He noticed that he had never tried to take the ring out or even to examine it. As if he knew what exactly did the ring have, and felt no need to take any action. But he was curious and couldn't stop wondering about his behavior, even if those were as simple as the sunny beam on the peak of Monday morning. He wondered what was so special about it that his body had constantly reached for it. And wondering if all these body movements were some muscle memory or were just uncomprehended erratic behavior that he conducted through the amnesia.

One day, he took off his ring to observe it. And beneath the solid stripping line of silver, Hongjoong noticed the vibrant cursive words written inside the surface of the ring.

 _Park Seonghwa_ , it said.

And he wondered if this was the person that he once knew, and maybe the one who he had all these blurry dreams about, but the extension of his thinking about the unfamiliar name yet oh, so familiar on his mouth, came a sudden ache of a migraine hit full-force into his head. And Hongjoong hugged his head in pain, settling the ring aside as he pitifully whimpered. It ended after a while when he decided not to think about the matter anymore. Strange enough, he couldn't stop himself from putting the silver ring back into his finger.

The story of Park Seonghwa, who magically popped out of _nowhere_ and started telling him infatuated and unbelievable thing along with words about him as the leader of Ateez (if he's not wrong, that's literally the biggest group in the government security organization, could be rooftop high like CIA or FBI in those American movies that he had tried to watch sometimes before falling asleep unknowingly.) And here this man, this ridiculously attractive man who's a few inches taller than him, was telling him that he? Kim Hongjoong? An original? As the leader of Ateez??? And also, one of the heads in the KQ branch? How insane would that sound to him? Hongjoong could only laugh in dumbfounded.

But then, it frightened him, because the man’s name was Park Seonghwa.

On Wednesday, when he finally got the day off from his work, Hongjoong decided to take a break and gives himself a self-treating holiday. (Because he said so).

He started his day with a cup of iced americano and brought a book that he had gotten from the library. It wasn't anything attractive to show, but Hongjoong, for some reason, was extremely hooked with books about clothes designing and planned on his next week shopping for new fabrics so he could outline them as he wanted. He got himself down into a nice, secluded table in the store, flipping his book with headphones as soft lo-fi music playing in the background. Humming through the day for a silent moment before he got off to head toward the public bathroom, Hongjoong asked the waitress who stood near his table if she could watch his stuff for the minute, and she politely nodded. 

On his way to the toilet, though, he bumped into someone, and the strange man turned around with a frightened, tactless look, almost yelping on his toes about his lack of control in strength and wanting to apologize if he would accidentally break a bone, or maybe two.

Hongjoong looked at him, puzzledly, and tilted his head. He assured the man that he was completely fine and that it was just a slight bump. But the man now looked at him in hysteria, as if it was the first time he had heard someone telling him they were fine bumping into him without being yeeted to six feet away.

"Jongho, hurry up; we need to get going." The moment the man named Jongho snapped his mind back into reality, he waved his hand at the man behind Hongjoong, and the shorter man looked in between the two with an odd frown, then he headed himself into the bathroom. Hongjoong heard the two of them' faint voice behind his back before the restroom door completely clicked shut. "San-hyung, I thought we still have an hour left."

"I know, but this is code red. It seems like the superheroes in district B forgot to clean the last bit of the explosion. So they're calling us for extra help."

"You know that we are not a charity group, right?" Jongho groaned. "Why are they keep calling us when there are literally thirty-four other groups of superheroes? I still have a training session after."

"Beat me." The man named San said. "It's not like I'm having fun with this." San shook his head, "By the way, where's Seonghwa-hyung?"

"Still in there. He should come out soon." 

Hongjoong entered the bathroom only to turn his back around, wanting to sprint out of the area as quickly as possible. It could any day that he begged for, but no, it just has to be today that he encountered Park Seonghwa once again, who is currently washing his hand on the sink. The taller man noticed the figure and turned around just as fast before he pulled a piece of tissue from the box and dried his hands while rushing out to chase after Hongjoong (hey, as much as he wanted to chase the other, cleanness is a priority). It wasn't like Hongjoong was afraid or anything. But their last encounter hadn't been so pleasant in his memory, and days have been weird enough, Hongjoong really didn't want it to get any weirder. The only option that he could muster from his brain was to run, and although that was ridiculous of him, it's not like he had the time to think either.

The brown-haired man made it as far as the corner of the store where two other guys he encountered earlier and accidentally bumped into one of them. It wasn't the Jongho guy this time. It was the San guy.

The moment after Seonghwa managed to catch up with him, he had witnessed the strangest thing ever, because in collapsing with San, who was unprepared with such force slammed into his body, had uncarefully released a lash of electricity. The yellow light sparkled up fiercely, almost formed into two lighting bolts as they nearly splintered into each other. But Hongjoong, who about to trip himself on the nearby table, grabbed San's hand from his loss of balance before a cold gush of nothingness merged into San's skin, and without any serious incident occurred, the bolts sucked into Hongjoong, and being swallowed.

As if it never happened.

"Y-you." San left out a breathless gasp, feeling all of his exploding mana being engulfed away, and he stared at the newfangled guy who still gripped on him in horror.

Hongjoong, who was still lost at whatever just transpired, stared around his surroundings like a blind moth. "W-what?" 

The scenario that was folding between them attracted everyone who presented inside the store, and they all stared at him like he was some sort of alien. A form of ability that they have never seen before. For the first time after his amusement in the white ward, Hongjoong acknowledged the new looks that everyone had given him this time.

A look of fearfulness. 

In the sense of imagination, Hongjoong would turn giant and snapped everything to dust with his two fingers. Absolutely ludicrous.

He felt the eyes of the people beside him, of those he inadvertently crashed upon, and those who he assumed as companions, their group of friends. He didn't want to stay under the pressure of all eyes on him. It was burdened, knowing having a clue of the going on the situation, yet their stares and gestures made a harsh twist on the side of his brain; a flash of images began to gather like flying feathers, where he couldn't exact grab any of them, untouchable, but they were right in front of him. Hongjoong held his head in pain, once again. 

Seonghwa had run forward, holding on the shorter man's shoulders for a stable stand, despite a hiss that he breathed out his mouth from the weird sensation between his and Hongjoong's skin, he queried if Hongjoong had remembered anything. And he desperately wanted to rid of the pain that the latter was holding. But had no idea how to smother it. After a while of brain-wrecking thought, the prophet nodded to himself like an assurance, observing all of his group members who completely lost over what the darkest hell was happening. 

"Let's take him back to our apartment. I will contract Eden to sending out another group for the mission. There is something that I must address to you guys. Wooyoung, can you teleport us back?" Seonghwa fixed his tone, now more focusing on the frustrated yet confused man beside him, who still held on his forehead as if it would do him anything good.

The man named Wooyoung widened his eyes, staring at the unknown man and Seonghwa altogether, "Have you gone mad? Why do we have to take him back to our place? It's our only protection, hyung! What the hell are you thinking! None of us know who he is. He can't just enter our house like that?!"

Seonghwa had stopped the man from continuing further, feeling a bit frustrated on his part. Still, if they remained here, nothing could be solved, "Guys," he sighed tiredly, "I know this is a difficult situation, and I don't know how to exactly explain this in one go, but he belongs to our group. In fact, he was Ateez's creator." 

Everyone had stared back at him like they were lost for words to say. "W-what?"

Even Hongjoong himself was shocked.

"Kim Hongjoong. He was the first one to join our squad; he formed us and was our leader."

Seonghwa jumbled over his choice of words. "Actually, no, he still _is_ our leader. I only took the lead for the temporary, and there might be objections, but I have to return this title to its true owner. He is the leader of Ateez." He repeated the sentence as if it was a chant and looked completely determined that neither of the members could utter their mouths to protest.

"So first thing first, let's get back to our apartment, and I will tell you everything I know, alright? Same with you, Hongjoong-ah."

The brown-haired man had lifted his head in surprise, only to be stared back down by the taller man whose hands still gently gripped on his shoulders, feeling overwhelmed and wordless at the same time. 

"Damn it, hyung. I'm so lost." Wooyoung had whined this time, heaving a tired exhale as he turned around. "If anything bad happens, you take responsibility for it." He shook his head in defeat, heading out of the store with a hand gesture, suggesting others to follow him. "I will need a wider surface for this to work, so let's get outta here."

Hongjoong cluelessly being pulled out of the store with nothing to oppose. Like he was lost. And have no idea what he was supposed to do besides trying his best to tame down the pounding headache. He looked down to the ground, where things seemed to be easier and clearer in his brain's functioning area, without the need to look at such strange faces in front of him, yet felt all so familiar. He noticed one of the guy's shoelaces were untied and pointed to it unconsciously, "Wait. Your shoe is untied, Mingi."

He stopped himself.

 _Mingi?_ The name just blurted out of his mouth unknowingly....but so naturally.

"You...know me?" The guy whose name he just called turned around in wonderment as he looked down to where the two white shoe strings were disoriented.

"I...I," Hongjoong looked up again, squinted his eyes with a lost expression. He felt even more devastated. "I don't know. I-I don't know. It just...it just slipped out. I don't- What is going on. I-"

Seonghwa gripped tighter onto the latter's shoulders, in the form of reassurance, "I will explain further once we get back." Then he looked up, "Wooyoung." 

Wooyoung snapped himself out of the situation instantly as Seonghwa called him, feeling the same intense look every other member had shared, then he sighed again. "Yes, yes, mom. Everybody gather around, please." He made little body gestures again before holding on a stop from his palm. "Wait, make him stay a bit further away from me." He pointed at Hongjoong, "I think he will do the same thing to me as what he did with San earlier. So just for safety measure, you hold him tight, hyung."

"Say no more." Seonghwa smiled.

Before they got to move, though, Hongjoong yelped in panic. "Wait! My bag is still inside." And one other tall man, who stood beside Mingi, grinned, "No worries," as he swung his arm into the air, and the bag flew from the store they were previous occupied before it landed safely on his hand. Wooyoung looked around them once last time to check if there were anything out of the ordinary. "Okay, are we ready?" Everyone responded with a subtle nod, and he nodded back, "Good. Let's go." Then he jumped up into the air, disappeared. And everyone else began to pull themself into the same gray void of space that briefly formed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😩 im sorry for my lack of writing skill or story telling, if this story isnt as good as u expected, yes you can fully blame that on me i do need to improve myself more
> 
> if you still stick with me at this point, honestly tysm you are amazing for dealing with me 💖🙏🏻


	3. It ain’t clinché.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i fail you for posting this after almost a month going hiatus? yes.  
> but did i finish this anyways? kinda.
> 
> don’t throw rocks at me lads i am having a very rough time :,)
> 
> am i satisfied with the story? not rlly.,,,but i do not have time so im trying to finish it asap (plus i dont wanna let it hanging) 😭
> 
> yes bts grammy nomination and monsta x daesang they are world dominating, we love to see that <3
> 
> also quick warning! there’s a bit torture stuff in here so if you are sensitive to that you can stop reading and click out!  
> and its gonna a bunch of present/past/present/past kinda flashbacks i hope it wouldn’t be too confusing :,>
> 
> happy reading!

Seonghwa was not the second person who joined Ateez.

In fact, it was Yunho, who almost could have taken over Seonghwa’s mental-caretaker role if it wasn’t because he was Hongjoong’s childhood friend. Besides, Yunho preferred to be hype-man rather than the calm and collective listener. He would be there all the time for a good talk, though. Seonghwa would go to him when he has a rough moment, and he always appreciated the man’s encouraging words of advice. He would like to remind you that.

Their group encounters were strange, a bit fresh from the start, but they matched as if a magical force that called atmosphere approached at a perfect degree, and they all clicked together like a flock of birds.

Yunho met Hongjoong through one of their college courses, and Seonghwa knew Jongho because the kid accidentally stepped on his foot one day when he was attending the school basketball match.

It was all those little coincidences that brought them together.

Seonghwa liked to call it to fate regardless of whether Hongjoong looked at him up and down judgingly. Then called him a dramatic sap the moment after.

Seonghwa recalled seeing new faces knocking on their flat one day when he was brushing his teeth. Normally, he would be a morning bird, but their yesterday mission made them all genuinely exhausted that they knocked down on their beds without closing the windows. So he ended up opening his swollen eyes at around one in the afternoon. It was only a group of four, with Jongho as their newest addition two months prior as they still in the process of getting used to one another. And the load of work was insanely overloaded.

Seonghwa wasn’t expected anyone to knock on their door that early in the day, but he still pushed himself out of the bathroom to check.

“I assume that you are Kim Hongjoong.” A young man with black hair at the time, with two valises in hands, looking at him cheerfully, and a small rice dimple popped on the side.

“Good guess, but wrong person. I’m much hotter than the so-called Kim Hongjoong.”

The man frowned in confusion before his brows twisted, and he started laughing. “You are funny. I like it. I’m Jung Wooyoung, was sent to this department by the administration. I do teleport and shit, just space and time stuff. I will always aid when in need. But don’t use me as your personal horse, and you are?”

“Park Seonghwa, a prophet, I suggest you put that hand down because I won’t shake it. Well, unless you want me to read you even to the most embarrassing moment you ever have.”

Jung Wooyoung dropped the midair hand back to his luggage in fright.

Seonghwa snorted at the action. He unlocked the side lock on the door before empty the way.

“Come in, welcome to Ateez.”

They clicked kind of fast, Seonghwa recalled, if he didn’t count all the time he got wrecked down by Wooyoung’s playfulness.

The hero departments were mostly related to one another. Everyone knew one another (maybe not the names because they all used codes). The only difference was that the bond between group members was more vibrant at the time. Maybe even up to this point, if it wasn’t for the split in department and groups, Seonghwa deemed they would all be strangers to each other.

Well, except him and Hongjoong, of course.

Yeosang and San joined roughly two weeks after, with Wooyoung cheerfully introduced them. Apparently, they all belonged to the same department before. But the basement of their house was revealed and attacked by a corrupted corporation. To prevent further danger, the administration officials decided to split them into new separate groups.

Hongjoong did look up from his laptop when Wooyoung mentioned about their past members, Changbin and Yeonjun. Seonghwa have never heard about them before, but with that look, he understood instantly that Hongjoong did know them. The white hair man stayed silent, however, and proceeded with his recent online shopping obsession. Seonghwa assumed that the latter must have to see them during the headquarters meeting of some sort. Hongjoong wasn’t someone who would care about the things that revolve around him unless personally affected. Or only if it was serious.

* * *

Bringing Hongjoong back to their plat was clearly a bad decision, Seonghwa concluded.

If it weren’t for the fact that Mingi decreased their gravity, all seven of them would have been swallowed ten feet below the ground. Hongjoong couldn’t understand what happened, and neither Seonghwa. But the moment the young man touched feet on the floor, the surface as if screaming in pain, expressed its uncomfortable in its own, beginning to melt like gelato heating above a hundred and twenty Celsius, it wasn’t a good sight, to be precise.

Mingi panicked as he performed his power. They were now lighter than Helium didn’t help that they were all stuck on the ceiling, but Hongjoong was on the floor, unharmed.

Except, the power that surrounded him was too large for his body to handle; Hongjoong couldn’t move his body at all.

Seonghwa looked at the power been sucked in from the room into Hongjoong’s body and realized what was happening. “Yunho, take off the protective barrier in this room. Now!”

“Hyung, what-“

“Hurry! The black fog in his body is swallowing the energy from the barrier. If we don’t stop it, it will eat up everything to the point of forming a black hole.” Yunho looked at him in surprise. He gulped nervously, “But if we do that, our location might get exposed.”

“Then are you going to handle that dark-looking power?” Seonghwa questioned just as tense. After a longwise consideration, making the younger man conflicted, he took the barrier off, feeling warily with the situation. The ground returned to the initial stage, and Hongjoong, who was finally able to move his body again, staring down at his hands.

Seonghwa hadn’t seen that expression in a long time.

Hongjoong was scared.

* * *

They weren’t dating at the time.

It wasn’t because of anything formal excuses, but more because neither of them had the ball to, and it was too fragile to admit their feeling with each other, afraid that the friendship would be broken once a rejection was heard.

Seonghwa had wondered what would happen if he had confessed back then.

Maybe time wouldn’t be as wasted if he did.

But they got together (fina-fucking-lly) after a long groan of Yeosang complained about how disgustingly awkward they were, and how Yunho looked like their abandoned son in the middle of the semi-divorce, except, he highlighted, they weren’t together, to begin with.

San still had the gut to pipe in, “we can think it as a thought, though. They are mentally married right now.”

If Seonghwa ever got a death note, he would write their names in, no doubt.

San would probably not die with a heart attack, but from annoying others to his own grave. More specifically, their oldest member in the group. Then Wooyoung followed up the line.

Mingi was their final addition. At first impression, he was absolutely brilliant. That was all Seonghwa could have said.

His power? Terrifying. His aura? Astronomical.

Saying that the head administrator was his uncle? Understandable. Saying Song Joongki was his brother? Hongjoong did smack the taller’s head for that. But the young man did have a charisma of his own. He was quiet, very calm, and serious with his job in a way. Seonghwa noticed his hard-working trait along the way and understood the reason for where he stood on the known ground even up to the moment he joined Ateez. But joining Ateez wasn’t a part of his plan at first, Mingi one said when they were all rooftop drunk inside San and Yunho shared bedroom. He had other reasons to join Ateez at the time.

The reason was simple; Mingi was bored.

And his father, being productive the man was, suddenly requested Hongjoong to take the man under his supervision. Hongjoong wanted to deny it at first, thinking that they have enough people in their department, but Mingi thought otherwise.

Mingi challenged him to a duet.

The result was interesting. It was a draw. And Hongjoong, after the fight, as Seonghwa recalled, started to talk with everyone rather than stuck his face into his laptop. He noticed that the man began to join them more, talked a bit less aggressively when he was annoyed, and showed more empathy whenever someone talked to him. After the duet, Hongjoong led the tall man behind him into their flat, introduced him, and made the man a space to get to know the others. Seonghwa never got to ask his boyfriend what happened; he knew that the two of them they have talked to each other for a while after the fight. But regardless, he was content with their new addition.

And Mingi soon explained after in his not-very-sober moment that though he joined Ateez for fun (opposed to how serious he always was when at work), he was glad to be a part of their team. And that was all Seonghwa needed to hear.

Then, from that moment, Ateez has been together for years as an operated eight-member superhero group.

* * *

“Do you recall this place?” Seonghwa has asked, snapping Hongjoong out of his confusion toward his palms.

The latter still stared at his hands in thought, lips shaken as he whispered. “I don’t think I do. But it felt familiar.”

Seonghwa had smiled, even if it was just a little bit. A smile that released a bit of tension in his head. A resurrected smile.

Then he looked up to all of his members, who were still beyond lost toward what happened.

He heaved his voice, trying to revamp his point of view beneath the heavy tension.

“So you are telling me he’s our leader, the one who protected us from the apocalypse, and also one of the head leaders in our organization?” Wooyoung repeated Seonghwa’s words like it was a reminder, and everyone else looked at each other strangely at this foreign information.

“But hyung, didn’t you say he can control elements? Yet whatever happened looks more like the exact opposite.” San voiced out.

Seonghwa sighed at the strange but accurate statement, “That’s what I’m trying to figure out right now. I don’t get why I couldn’t sense any power on him, and the fact that both of you guys and Hongjoong himself doesn’t remember a thing about Ateez is what scared me.”

Jongho had broken the silence that they all fell into and spoke up, “what....what if it wasn’t us who forgot, but it was you making it up, hyung? I can’t recall anything even if I wreck all of my brains out.”

Seonghwa was shocked at the words.

So his members didn’t even trust him now? But before he could say any words of protest, someone looked up and unexpectedly talked against Jongho.

It was Hongjoong.

“No, I believe him.” The man said, raising his ring finger toward them, and pointed at Seonghwa’s one, “I have a ring that I’ve been holding on for a while now, it has been with me right after I woke up, and I do think I’ve something related to you guys, Seonghwa’s name is on it.”

It was such a long time since the last time Seonghwa heard his lover called his name. Though there was a tad of foreignness, it was almost all he could ask for.

“So I know what he is saying must be the truth, or my head wouldn’t be this painful.”

Jongho stepped back nervously as if he just stood on someone’s nerve unintended.

“Then what are we going to do if neither of us remembers each other besides Seonghwa hyung.”

Surprisingly, as nobody voiced their thought, Mingi had stood down to the ground. "Then we will try to remember it." 

Seonghwa has been stunned at his declaration. 

"I don't know why, but my gut is telling me I do know this person, and maybe my mind doesn't recollect a single thing right now, but I feel like we could still reach something by the end of the day." Mingi smiled at the brown-haired man, who looked up at the deep voice immersed around the living room, shocked in wonderment. "Earlier, he called my name." Mingi reminded. " And I know that I don't know him, and you know how us as superheroes, we are not supposed to reveal our identities; Seonghwa hyung must have been right. We should do something about it. Worst case scenario, we can learn to know him again if he was indeed Ateez's former leader." He looked at Seonghwa this time, with much determination in his eyes, and the oldest was touched by the messages.

"We should give it a chance."

Hongjoong and Mingi, if Seonghwa was honest, they were so much alike in one way or another, and maybe that's why they blended in well, and Seonghwa wasn't sure sometimes if Hongjoong knew him or Mingi better, but he was in no place to be jealous over such little things.

They were a team, after all.

But knowing that Mingi would be the first person to convince them all into trusting Seonghwa's memory was something beyond the oldest's expectation. Maybe things can be brought back if they determine enough. Seonghwa hopefully thought.

It wasn't fair keeping down all these visions to himself while others have been through the same as him.

For the next few days, Seonghwa formed a plan and made the room out for Hongjoong to stay. 

Like they used to be.

Even if it was no longer like before.  
  


Hongjoong began to wear gloves whenever he could. Greeting faces that he had no recall of, and got registered into the Security Agency because Seonghwa had talked to the administration, Hongjoong had given his consent and allowed them to do a physical check. Seonghwa sat in the observation room, speaking through the mic to allow the latter to wear back his gloves if he was uncomfortable, and the outcome of the test was frightening.

The laboratory had requested the testament on one of the prisoners who recently captured by a different department. And as brutal as the scenario had been, the moment Hongjoong touched the tip of his finger, which was striped into a table, the man seized up with a gasp, and the power painfully moved around his body into the other man's hand. Hongjoong didn't know if he should release his hand, but the physician said not to do so, resulting in him remained his hand on the other. At some point, barely about three minutes, the man knocked off the chair. This time, Hongjoong did release his hand as if he was burnt. Seonghwa had witnessed the situation and quickly walked out of the box to enter the lab, running toward Hongjoong.

The physician had put the unconscious man on the scanning machine, and the result came out blank: The mana bar set up as zero, and there was no indication that he was a superpower user. Not anymore after those silent three minutes. Hongjoong had (unfortunately or not) took all of his mana away as the white coat man concluded. The file was sent to the higher-ups, and the administrator had sent badges to their department, accepting Hongjoong as a new member of Ateez.

Seonghwa couldn't really express himself because, knowing that Hongjoong no longer saw him as someone he once dear, the impact harshly left a sour feeling on his tongue. But he must understand how hard the latter was holding up with all the occasions. He had to, be it his sanity or Hongjoong's sanity, even if it sounded unfair. Even if his heart throbbed every night, he curved into the bed, where Hongjoong was still so close, yet so far from him. It was a blank space between them.

Hongjoong, despite still haven't recovered with his memories, and neither of the rest ever did, still have the most with his experience as a superhero. His leadership was vibrant, and once in a while, Seonghwa had smiled secretly whenever Hongjoong suddenly had a plan or vision on what they should with their missions. And astonishedly, Ateez has been attentive to the young man's words.

Just like they used to be.

And something cracked inside Seonghwa.

Because he missed this feeling, he missed seeing them being together again.

He missed Hongjoong.

And even if the man wasn't who he once was, maybe it's okay. As long as he was still here with them, maybe Seonghwa wouldn't mind about the changes that much.

As long as Hongjoong remained with them, he could hold the pain even if they were no longer together.

* * *

It was the one mission that brought Hongjoong back to them.

The alarm rang through the flat hallway as the members ran around, setting up protection suits before the calling. And Hongjoong, who had walked out of the door in a rush, did not bring the gloves with him this time.

It was all-along the most unexpected mistake to create a greater outcome.

Their opponent was an elements manipulator, and the information did a flip in Seonghwa's chest, and Hongjoong, who instantly looked up at him as if he understood what the man was thinking. But neither of them said a thing.

Shit hit the fan after that.

While Seonghwa had tried to read the opponent's moves, the other was so much quicker than predicted, and Yunho couldn't aim in time with the iron containers on the sides without delaying a brief second. Mingi had tried to push the man to the ground, using gravity to hold him back. But as elements manipulating as the enemy was, he pushed up the control to switch the wind's direction and tripped Mingi down with a strong push. Wooyoung had popped out from the back and pinned him down along with Jongho, who followed. The man, who got tackled down unprepared, gave a surprised yelp until, at some point, he couldn't escape under the strong grip anymore. Hongjoong had quickly run toward their position and settled his hand on the man's arm. 

A surge of whiteness sparkled up the moment Hongjoong made contact with the man, and they both gasped in shock. After absorbing all of the mana and the man fainted, Hongjoong retracted his hand, looking for his gloves.

But it wasn't there. The subsequent situation happened almost instantly, as the air surrounding them was engulfed under the unconscious man's mana that still lingered and began to suck into Hongjoong's palm. It was too sudden and too outlandish for any of them to react in time before his body released between a white beam, angrily mixed with the blackness of his anti-mana power. Hongjoong screamed in pain, unable to stop himself before he dropped down to the ground. Leaving a group of seven others screaming from behind in deafness.

* * *

When Hongjoong told Seonghwa that he would be back, it was a lie.

He didn't want to worry the latter, but now that he thought back, maybe he was selfish. 

Before leaping into the air, he kissed the man.

A farewell kiss.

Hongjoong didn't expect much, thinking that he would be gone after this day anyway, so one last kiss should be peaceful enough for him to walk away from them.

From his family.

It wasn't an ideal plan, per se. But that was the only option he had. Even if it costed his life, as long as his family was safe, maybe the price wasn't too impossible. He could do that.

So Hongjoong expanded his arms and focused all of his energy into one single ball.

Hongjoong was willing to risk his life. But his power didn't.

Because after all, Hongjoong was willing to risk it. But he didn't want to die.

Before embracing the damage, the power had rushed out of his arms in full-force, brightened up his body like a shield against the giant up-coming meteor. He remembered the bright light from his arms, furiously held into the force of the rock that ripping the ozone. What it did, however, was pushing him out of the way before the power manipulated itself into a light ball, crashing itself into the giant piece of rock before it pushed the direction out of its planned orbit. Hongjoong had watched everything in shock, seeing such powerful magic yet damaging so bravely painful as every bit of his mana was ripped out of his skin before he was pulled away from the force, his body crashed through the ground. 

He chuckled in pain.

Even his mana didn't want him to die. 

Hongjoong had been known as someone who possessed something beyond a human's wit. He had a secret. A secret that not even Seonghwa or Yunho knew. But Mingi did because the man was the same as him. Maybe that was why they both clicked on each other so fast.

His power could manipulate itself whenever he allowed it. But this time, it had controlled by its own without his permission.

Because after all, Hongjoong was willing to risk his life. But he still didn't want to die.

And so was his power.

Hongjoong had learned that once the mana was completely drained out from a body, they will lose everything all at once. Hongjoong knew he would forget everything if he closed his eyes, maybe if it was temporary, or even if it was forever, and the world would misremember him. He had read in a book before that if someone's power went against their will, the mana would explode, so he was erased from the so-called universe. If the body remained, maybe it will have to start a new life, but this time, as someone they have never been as.

He knew that if he closed his eyes, his family would never recognize him again, but he couldn't keep up with the pain any longer, and the eyelids were too tempted not to follow. He felt the need to close them, even if his will was against the thought at every second. 

He thought about Seonghwa, a tear lingered on his eyelash, and he swallowed a lump in his dry throat.

_I'm sorry._

Then, it was silent.

* * *

Hongjoong remembered.

Bits and pieces of memories began to sew themselves back into lines, and Hongjoong cracked his eyes in discomfort, gazing distractingly at the white ceiling above him. He remembered.

As if all the emotions have pent up after a long-time of oppression began to explode, Hongjoong cried in little sniffs, staring at the bright, ridiculously white ceiling in happiness.

And maybe also relief.

He had thought they would have part-ways the day he ever regained his memory. He had thought that maybe this was the remained option, for him to search for his family with the news of them all forgetting about his position. 

Hongjoong had scared of starting it over again, and in the span of seven minutes of his unconsciousness, he thought maybe this was the end for them, to keep the final bit of memory left before they faded into nothingness.

But joke’s on him. 

His family had found him first.

Ateez had found him first.

Seonghwa had found him first.

And the thought of seeing the latter again was _euphoric_.

He missed his family so damn much. And the man cried all over his hospital gown.

Seonghwa had barged into the room in a rush, breaths heaving from his chest up and down at a fast pace as he tried to locate where exactly Hongjoong was in the ward. He had seen the man's rouse in his third-eyesight—his prophecy eyesight. 

He was expecting for the empty look Hongjoong had been giving him, somewhat have adapted to their desolated gazes, and always in those moments that he would chuckle to himself in sorrow. But upon the view of the man, Hongjoong, who calmly sat on the hospital bed, with his back was resting on the head of the pillows, what surprised him was Hongjoong smiling softly at him. As if he had returned to where they once were before, but Seonghwa snapped himself away from the thought quickly, or he would feel bad for himself again. Hongjoong needed time to recover, not from his selfish thought of entertaining their past relationship.

But Hongjoong kept smiling at him as if he had a secret to reveal.

Seonghwa walked up to the bed, checking around the other's body, "How are you feeling now? Do you need anything? I can get it for you if you want. Do you want some strawberry yogurt? There's a convenience store near-"

"I told you I would be back, didn't I?" Hongjoong had cut him off, and even if his voice was gentle, those words were almost cutting through Seonghwa's skin like a knife. The man was still smiling softly at him.

"H...Hongjoong?" he hesitated. Looking down at the same eye-level.

"Yes?"

Seonghwa gasped in shock.

"Hongjoong."

"Yes?"

The shorter man began to giggle now.

"Hongjoong!" Seonghwa surged up, hugging the man he had been missing for so long, buried into his neck in a tight embrace.

"Yes!" Hongjoong returned the hug with a chuckle, but just as eager, tightened his hold on his lover. 

"I'm sorry for making you wait."

Seonghwa heaved out a soft sigh as if all of his anxiety had dissolved in a blink of an eye. "It doesn't matter." He shook his head, still deeply buried into Hongjoong's neck.

"Welcome back, Hongjoong."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo....i might write an epilogue for this cuz im not done explaining what had happened to hj....


	4. Epilogue: Got room for one more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reeeeeeee here is the bonus chap!!!

“So technically, you were only able to get your memory back because you were in contacted with someone who has the same superpower as you?” San questioned their situation through the dense air, with all heads surrounding the big table in their meeting room, trying to comprehend the problem.

After two days, when all of Hongjoong’s memory restored, Ateez decided to gather around in their dorm, discussing what had happened.

Their leader nodded, a confirmed form to dissolve the confusion among all men, with the idea of sealing this frustrating case altogether.

”At least that is what I am assuming as, considering that all of you have remembered me. Though I’ve read in a book that everything would be erased when someone’s mana leaves their body, most of the words from it were all assumptions and theories, and there haven’t been actual cases about them.”

”But it technically isn’t ideal to be seen someone with their memories and everyone else’s memories about them being completely washed out, you know? Because no one would remember anything to tell.” San said. “You are only able to return because Seonghwa-hyung remembers you.”

Seonghwa coughed at the words.

”Then are you telling me if it wasn’t because of him, y’all would no longer appreciate my ass?” Hongjoong spoke offendedly, with the right hand on his chest, acting like he was hurt.

“Let’s pretend San stuttered.” Yeosang talked in a low tone, and everyone turned around in surprise. The man’s blunt style never changed. Wooyoung started to crack a loud laugh.

”Come on, your leader is barely being recognized again for two days, and you all behaving like he’s a nuisance.” Seonghwa shook his head.

Hongjoong snorted at that, “Not gonna lie, but, really, I don’t expect much from them.” Earning a whole string of offending groaning sounds from the six others.

But until the silence settled down, Mingi’s queued what everyone else was eager to ask; in the midst of chaotic essence, the question was voiced unexpectedly, “But hyung, if your existence has been swiped off completely after your mana rushed out from you and exploded, how come all the people that we have captured haven’t been erased from anything?”

And everyone stared back at their leader, waiting for a clue.

”Well,” Hongjoong sighed, “I’ve thought of it. Based on what I see, I assume that our existence can only be erased when the mana willingly escaped from our bodies, for those people, though, none of their powers were willing to be pulled out. It was I who do the job.” And the rest slowly nodded their heads in understanding. After all, it was pretty convincing. “I guess that’s why nothing happened to them.” He shrugged.

Then Yunho wondered, “and the reason you got your memory back because you got your power back. And the only way to regain your power is to steal it from someone else that has the same ability manipulation as you.” Hongjoong hissed at that, “Don’t use ‘steal,’ come on now, chances of me becoming a pirate is high doesn’t mean that I am officially one, pick another word, I coin ‘borrow.’” And the rest laughed at that, “Sure, hyung, whatever helps you sleep at night.” Wooyoung piped in.

”Damn,” Hongjoong smirked in astonishment, “Why are you guys so mean to me today? This is not how you treat a patient. I don’t talk to any of you for like five months, and literally, all of you are sitting on my head. Give me a break.”

Jongho chortled by the corner of the table, “This is what you get for abandoning your children for five months, I say deserve.” Yeosang nodded at his boyfriend’s sophisticated words.

Hongjoong whined pitifully, groaning at the sudden rush of attacks from his team members, and Seonghwa chuckled as he pushed up from the chair. “You worked hard, babe, just ignore them.” He walked closer to the man and gave him a slight hug. But bullying had always been a thing in their department, and Wooyoung never missed his chance to scream out a tease. At this point, Hongjoong probably would consider changing their group name into “A Tease,” because Wooyoung opened his mouth, “Ew, not the parents showing PDA, I don’t need any more trauma in my life, go get a room, you two.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes.

But Hongjoong laughed, and a glint of playfulness instantly vibrating in his eyes. He gazed back at Wooyoung, challenging, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively before leaning into Seonghwa with a kiss, making all of them fake gagging and yelling like the beginning of New Year’s festivals.

Seonghwa was surprised by the sudden kiss before he took back a gasp, and ignored another wave of disagreements, and leaned in, kissing his lover back.

Yup, this was right.

This was it.

This was what he always remembered.

All of them surrounded him in a comfortable atmosphere as they clicked around like a flock of birds.

And he was grateful to get it back.

As it was another day in the Ateez department.

Seonghwa could never ask for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also the reason for hongjoong’s anti-power power is because his mana was too large, it has always been in his body for ages but then suddenly it got sucked out, so hongjoong’s (cuz my boi is special) body demands to fill back in mana again or it won’t be able to maintain without power flowing inside his blood, but he has so much power in him so even if he takes the world down nothing is ever enough. yeah so unless he regains his power through someone who shared the same power as him? yo boi gonna go around and steal (or i shall say “borrow”) the crap out of everyone else’s superpowers without ever getting his actual power return ^^ hope that explained!
> 
> thank you for reading this terribly written story haha ily <333


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